The Saddest Mother On Mother’s Day

I’m not going to mince words here, I miss my Mom and Dad.

Before you go giving me that, “well, at least they’re still alive” stuff, I’m not trying to discredit the pain that those must feel after losing a parent. I’m not trying to debate, nor even really prove a point. I’ve been here “out West” for an entire year. . . and in many ways I feel like it has been an eternity. In other ways I feel like it hasn’t been more than a long lunch break.

Progression in a metaphysical way has happened, but who knows, it could just be heat stroke. I have pondered on things, and regretfully feel like there are certain things that my parents will never forgive me for, and I guess I’ll have to live with that. In the meanwhile, I think I’m overcompensating by trying to be the best person I can possibly be. Subconsciously my ego and id is having a battle royale, and the only thing that seems to come of it is a genuine compassion and understanding for the rest of the human race.

Except for, maybe, the people that send nude pictures through my work messenger.

I’d like to share this email I received from a lady that, in her original email sounded absolutely crushed. I mean, ready to jump off the boat sad. In my mind I could see how other people could have reacted to the situation, by saying “big deal, you’re missing some stupid thing that you probably don’t need anyways, welcome to first world problems.” To me, there was an incredibly deep, emotional trench that had been dug, and she was hunkered down and battling with some serious depressive enemies. To make the email stand out from the rest in my long cue of “where’s my…” emails, I titled it “The Saddest Mother’s Day Ever”.

I’ve been there, down in the sadness trench, only poking my head out to get it blown off again. I couldn’t just respond “I’ll send you a replacement” nor could I actually give her the virtual hug she needed. I did do my best, however, to make it seem like she wasn’t alone in her struggle, and that in fact, there are more out there just like her than she knew about. I though about a mother of a man that I used to be in a relationship. She was the happiest person on the surface, but you could tell there was some serious sad beneath that poised facade. I can pinpoint and tackle sad in person, but to joust at in through email was a new exercise in human compassion. I was up to it, because in fact, my brutish self had a damn tear in her eye.

I’ll paste here her response to my email, without divulging her whole story, what was actually wrong, or anything else for that matter.

“Dear Nikki,


Good morning!
I’m sitting here reading your message and it has brought me to tears. You must be an amazing daughter—I have one of those, too! I’m so sorry about your Mom. It’s not easy to go through surgery and be alone—let alone be away from someone like you who seems to be so lovely and caring. I will pray for her recovery and for this virus to leave all of us.


My request seems so silly today. I think I was simply having a blue moment and look at the results. I’m happy to have reached out to you.  You are a treasure—for your company and for the people who are lucky to “meet” you. Life is funny, and God is good.


Thank you for the support and especially for the cyber hug. It means a lot.
Stay healthy,

Most kindly,
Hugs back to you!”

In stark contrast, I recieved an email from a different lady straight out using bully tactics to get what she wanted. She did NOT get the hug worthy Nikki.

Be kind, be honest, and most of all, give a crap about people. We’re all fighting invisible battles. Most of you know mine, which I have fought valiantly through. Don’t ever forget to take care of yourself, too.

Just like this little Flame Tree seed didn’t give up when he was soaked to death and buried almost two inches too deep, persistence prevails.

One thought on “The Saddest Mother On Mother’s Day

  1. I love your deep profound writings! Miss you cuz I’d hug you reall tight after reading if you were here! Be well Nikki, you are loved!

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