Darkness, the shade of Astronomical by Behr


After the fourth time listening to the song “Dammit” by Blink-182, I felt I need to hash out a few words. I don’t necessarily remember the last time I ugly cried, but here we are.

Upon waking at a god awful time of the morning, after washing the stink from my body and pouring liquid down my throat I decide to scroll the old social media. I’m not amused with the political posts or the same guy that posts pictures of his car seven times a day. I get it, I really do, but gee whiz, get a girlfriend. I see lackluster attempts at humor and a few birthday posts. Whatever. That was my attitude. I investigate further and find that it’s the mother (and when I looked closer, the brother) of one of the sweetest people I know.

Let me paint a picture. I was in seventh grade, life was hard with typical adolescent nonsense, but was complicated exponentially when I had to change schools. I was, let’s face it, a little weird and had a hard time fitting in. I had grown up in a tiny school where everyone were friends whether they wanted to be or not, that was just how the community was. When I had to move to a different school, a much larger school with a broader demographic of people, I really didn’t fit in. You know the bullying you see and hear about online, well, it’s about seventeen times worse when it’s in person and those people are telling your that nasty stuff to your face and making your life a living hell. There wasn’t a day that passed that I didn’t cry in the bathroom.

Aside from my little sect of friends, there was one soul that truly couldn’t see bad in anyone. Alice was there for me, and the only reason I can think of is because shes a good person. I mean a genuine good person who was raised by at least one parent that taught about the innate good of everyone. Alice never judged me on my clothes, or made snide comments about my Hootie and the Blowfish shirt. Naturally, when I heard of the passing of her mom AND her brother in the same week, I lost my shit.

*note* I’m not proofing this nor editing out anything

People fucking suck, I mean they really freaking do. It was very obvious that Alice is an exception. I don’t claim to be a phsycologist or know what I’m talking about, but good people typically come from decent god damn parents. Parents that have a kind soul, even if they might be led astray at times from the urges that any of us would be lured by. My dad was a fucking drunk, functional at time, dysfunctional at times, but you know what, he was good, to me at least. I can’t pass judgement on anyone, because if I did I’d be a hypocrite.

I guess what I’m alluding to is that my friend, who helped me do a very nerve wrecking public speaking project about Zimbabwe and kept me from jumping in front of the school bus, needs a little help. Y’all helped me get across the country in a BMW six years ago for no good reason, let’s actually help someone in need. Don’t do it for me, do it for one of the kind souls left on this god forsaken planet.

Help, because you can, not because you feel obligated

2 thoughts on “Darkness, the shade of Astronomical by Behr

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