Howie Mandel Can Drink Bleach And Die (although, I’m not going to be the one that serves it to him)

I usually don’t cuss, I usually don’t come upright and forward with an opinion that seems very stark and one sided, but quote me on this, “Fuck you, Howie Mandel and your stupid show with the people with talent.” His statement this evening (that I accidentally overhead because my dad loves the show) of “You make bulimia more entertaining” was inappropriate. I mean, seriously, this coming from the knucklehead that doesn’t shake peoples hands, that has an obsessive compulsive disorder, that ADD? Really, you’re going to pick on those that have bulimia, what the fuck is wrong with you?

Sigh. Fine, I understand, I’ve used up my quota of “f” words this evening, but hey, I’m madder than, well, whatever gets mad and shows out. I’m so upset I don’t even have words to explain. That’s pretty serious, I don’t remember the last time I’ve been so angry, and it’s not because I hate Howie, I don’t even know the guy, but at the same time, he’s making a mockery of something that so many people battle and deal with every single day/hour/minute/second of their life. You don’t have to tell me, you don’t have to give me statistics, I’m a living breathing proof that you can have “it” and deal with “it” every single moment of the day but I promise you, it’ll never be “entertaining”.

I’ll provide ten facts and rebutt them as to how “non-entertaining” they are, and why the actual statement of even trying to make bulimia entertaining in the first place is absurd. I mean think about it, are eating disorders really supposed to be entertaining? Does throwing yourself on a toilet entertain anyone? Does the thought of purging your body with laxatives really seem entertaining? No. The simple answer is no…and that’s why I’m irate. The ignorance of the disorder in his eyes is blatant, and the temper in my eyes is true. Then again, I have not a mean bone in my body, I wish nobody “real” harm, I just want to provide the facts of the situation. I want some sort of resolution to this issue. (thank you for the easy to reference guide to the top 10 facts of bulimia)

Fact #1: “It consists of a rollercoaster of compulsive habits.”

Okay, Howie, let’s think about this. You’re, what, ADD and OCD. You don’t shake peoples hands, you have a problem with strangers and you’re quirky. Some people might find that “cute” but at the same time you’re actually sort of worse than the bulimic on their worst day. Sure you have the need to steer away from germs, but whats the difference from germs and calories. Let’s face it, you can actually kinda “see” calories in a donut, you can’t “see” germs on a hand. Really, you want to make bulimia more interesting, maybe we can start licking hands and trying to throw up the germs to make you satisfied and “entertain” you”.

Fact #2: “Bulimia is a mental disorder.”

Yes…as a matter of fact it is…so is Schizophrenia, hysteria, attention deficit disorder, and well, hell, necrophilia. Is it really something that we have to be entertained by? Is it comical, or entertaining to sit there and watch somebody pound a dead body because they have a mental disorder that causes them to have the urge to do such a thing? Is it entertaining to watch a grown man fail to shake hands with somebody? Is it really a case that we have to group it with some sort of perverse mental disorder that people should point and stare with fear? No, we don’t hurt anybody, we’re just hurt by everybody.

Fact #3: “Culture clash” can be a cause.”

Yes, it’s true. There is a modern day stigmata on people (both male and female) that exemplifies thinness. We’re supposed to be leaves in the wind as opposed to the mighty oaks that stand the tests of time and weather. The world as we know it has become skewed to a certain vantage point of thin and pretty. At the same time, “thin and pretty” doesn’t always mean “happy and healthy”. For those that look upon culture to believe that everybody should fit into a certain mold…there are an equivalent amount of people to cry at night and torture themselves because they don’t fit this “mold”. We’re different, and as an individual I can personally say that “I fit no mold”. Culture tells me I’m supposed to look like the models in the magazines, the people on TV and the random people you see in the check out at Target. I can also promise you this, that’s not inner happiness, that’s making the rest of the world happy and you subjecting yourself to misery. (Typically involving a toilet, a garbage disposal, a waste basket with a plastic sack, or hell, the side of the road if you’re in a pinch).

Fact #4: “It’s not exclusive to women.”

Nope, nope, and nope. You have to think about it, when stating that “You make bulimia more interesting”, you thought only of one aspect of the disease. There are so many other facets of how that particular mental disorder manifests itself you have no idea what you’re talking about. Take for instance the gym rat that spends their entire day counting calories, weighing themselves, and then punishing themselves unhealthily on the equipment at the gym. They push their body beyond it’s limitations, that’s also called bulimia. Also, look at the person that decides that they want to purge themselves but with a pint of Milk of Magnesia a day. You can innocently say “well, they want to be regular”, but the fact of the matter is that they aren’t brave enough to actually do the “deed”, and get rid of it before it hits the lower GI. Really, men can do it just as easy as women. I know, I’ve seen, I’ve wept.

Fact #5: “Bulimics can have normal body weights.”

Well, sure, we can be “normal” but the torture that we go through to be “normal” is ridiculous. At the same time the rest of the world looks at those suffering as “normal”, we as suffering bulimics see ourselves as worthless slobs that don’t deserve the breath of air we take or the gravity beneath us. We’d probably rather get sucked into some sort of black abyss hole and never be seen again as opposed to stepping on a scale in public and being announced as “normal”. We might be normal from a text book standpoint, but deep down, we’re far from it. We’re bleeding, we need stiches, but very few people know how to heal the wounds.

Fact #6: “Bulimia affects more than just your weight.”

Yeah, lets think about that for a second, what’s so entertaining about somebody ailing from a disease? Wait, what? I need an explanation please? Anything, something? As a person that has dealt with this condition for well over 10 years, I can honestly say I’d probably be better off if I was doing cocaine at this juncture. The damage that has occurred to my GI tract, my teeth, and most importantly, my mind, is something that I will never get back. Beyond my ailments, there area multitude of other nonsense that can go wrong. Take for instance the twenty something woman trying to have a child, but is suffering from bulimia. As a pregnant woman trying to overcome not only the hormones of childbearing, but also the urges of bulimia…what do you suppose happens? I can tell you from a first hand stand point, you lose the child. You get devastated, you recoil into your deepest nightmares. Is that entertaining? Really?

Fact #7: “Bulimia can be genetic.”

It’s an addiction sort of mental disorder, and hell, why is that our fault. If there is some sort of truth behind the fact of this getting passed down from genetics, why is it the bulimics fault? What exactly says that the struggles they deal with every single minutes of the day have to be entertaining? Let’s take for instance the alcoholic, whom learned their traits from their fathers/mothers. Is it entertaining to sit and watch them drink themselves into a jaundiced state of living and give them an excuse of “well, it’s hereditary”? Hell no, we should get the same treatment and let’s be brutally honest, We’re actually better than the alcoholics and the OCD people.

Fact #8: “Bulimia can inhibit healthy reproduction.”

I’d love for an explanation as to how unhealthy reproduction is entertaining. You claim that bulimia is supposed to be entertaining? Really? Let’s talk to some of the people that have lost so much because they were consumed by an evil that you want to be entertained by. How is that fair, and why the hell should we as suffering people with eating disorders be on this planet to entertain you? It’s almost like going to the zoo and shooting a lion only to sit there and watch it die.

Fact #9: “Antidepressants may help.”

Without getting into my twenty minutes long pharmaceutical rant, I’ll just put it this way “the drugs don’t work”

—last but not least, at least not for now…—

Fact #10: “It’s a life-long battle.”

I can bow down and attest to that, and actually I can say that I’m a better person because of it. Look towards the future, what do you want tomorrow, what do you want in three days, what do you want in a year? Typically people have some sort of financial idea as to where they want to be, what they want to own, and what they want in the bank. The world of a tortured bulimic is nothing of the sort…we’re just trying to make it to tomorrow. It’s a nonstop Russian roulette where you take chances every single time you put something down your throat. It’s not entertaining, it’s terrifying. It’s one of those situations  that you look at someone and wonder “how did you get this way.” It’s easy enough to say that for anyone though “why do you like the color red?”, “why do you wear womens underware?”, “why the hell are you afraid to shake hands?”

Valid points, but none of them explain the amount of disrespect was given to the eating disordered community this evening. Fuck you, Howie Mandel.


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