The element of surprise

I’m not going to lie, I’m messy. Of course, I’m also a clean person. I shower on a regular basis and I tend to wash my hands once in a while. At the same time, I tend to leave more piles laying around than a bunny. It’s not my fault, it’s habit. I guess somewhere deep down inside of my warped mind I think that if I ever have to get the hell out of someplace really quick having all of my crap in a pile would be to my benefit.

This isn’t always the case, however, especially in daily life. I mean tripping over the same damn pile of crap at work is frustrating at least and tripping over the same pile of shoes by the doors sometimes makes me say four letter words. The really aggravating thing is to trip over the same messy thoughts time after time.

So it’s not the same as shoes, and it’s certainly not the same as a pile of dead plants that you keep promising to water; it’s a totally different ballgame. Thoughts can’t be swept up nor can they be watered back to life. Our thoughts, much like our aspirations can make or break us. Thoughts are ideas, aspirations are goals. My goals require me to move some of those mental piles.

Since starting school I’ve gained a whopping 20 pounds. Let’s think about it. That’s equivalent to a large bag of dog food or a really plump thanksgiving turkey. I know exactly where it went, but at the same time, I’m not surprised. My lack of movement and stress has caused my body to go into this “pile” mode where it decides to pile pounds on in various places.

The same thing would happen to me every winter when I lived in Illinois and I got laid off from work. I think my brain goes into this feast or famine mode and trying to store up for spring.

One of my favorite quotes actually comes from a Plant Pathology textbook in which I read in my first go round in higher education:

“the cell ceases activity, perhaps desiccates (dries), and enters a waiting state to await better times”

This has stuck with me more than anything that I’ve learned in any sort of horticulture class ever. It just makes sense, cells know what the deal is. If things are crap they shrivel up and wait until the coast is clear and springs to life again. In the world of plants it happens in winter, in the world of me, it happens when too much is going on.

Freaking out is my nature, although I’m getting much better. No longer to I look into the mirror and see a monster or a failure, I see a cell in a desiccated state. I’m slowly re-hydrating both my brain and my soul with better, more efficient material. It’s working pretty well, but I still bounce from too dry to too saturated sometimes. The most important thing is that I keep on keepin’ on. Don’t let the world get you down.

I’m moving onto another quote, in addition of course, to help me through the next few semesters.

“Do catipillars know what metamorphosis is? Do the butterfly and caterpillar share the same soul,or does the caterpillar die just because it has changed form?”


If you were to take this ugly bug and tell it that the potential to be anything was hers, what would she be?

If you were to take this ugly bug and tell it that the potential to be anything was hers, what would she be?




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