It’s incredible the change you can make within yourself when given the notion and the gusto.
Although, when they tell you it’s going to rain and you believe that the rain is going to fall – when it doesn’t it’ll really screw you up. I’ve been promised rain three days in a row now, and nothing has happened. I’ve taken to believing in the weather people and aps before trusting my own judgement. This includes not only having plans for when it’s going to rain (because they say it is), but plans for when it doesn’t (when the weather plans to flip the weather people the bird and say screw you.
I’m looking at life and realizing that I’ve been told by somebody that it’s going to rain, however, it’s not. If anything my life is like San Diego everyday, but I have a permanent black cloud over my head. This cloud, of course, alters my state of being and I always see rain even when in fact it’s going to be sunny out. I see the sunshine on other peoples shoulders and wonder where mine is, and I really wonder why it’s me that made this stupid cloud follow me around.
I blame other people. I blame co-workers, loved ones, the weather, but I never blame myself for my mental state of perma-rain. I realize that I can control my mental weather and although it in fact DOES rain once in a while, it’s up to me to be prepared for it and have an umbrella at the ready. You can’t have flowers without rain and some shit – compost I mean.