So, being brave is for heroes. I am
not. In the face of fear I’m about as useful as a wet sock.
Here I sit at my favorite place with my favorite intentions and I feel like I can’t breathe. It’s ridiculous, I know what I want but the voice doesn’t come out. It may be that I’ve come to Charlotte to go to ikea but my navigation has failed me and I feel out of control. It could be that I’m confronted by comfort food in a particularly stressful time. Either way I know what my intentions are.
I didn’t leave the house this morning to confront failure. I left the house with intentions of following a list of things to do. My navigation has failed me, and honestly I don’t feel like fighting with technology. Fine, you think I should still be driving towards Virginia, I know otherwise.
I’m going to nourish my body with what I know it likes and needs.
Pizza and beer. Although I’ve cursed off the two, it’s pretty darn good when you feel like you need it. I feel like I am being tested. I feel like my disorder is trying to see what I am capable of.
I am capable of success. I’m going to eat lunch then buy the stuff on my list… Even if it isn’t at ikea