It’s even harder to believe that behind every window there is a scene.
It’s almost impossible to believe that behind some peoples curtains there is a window with a horrific scene.
This scene plays out day in and day out as a macabre film on auto playback. Grim, gruesome, but reality. The scene behind this window is actually a sad scene in you look at it a few ways. The actor in question struggles day in and out to “fit” into a stereotype, but forgot a long time ago why she feels the need to fit in. This person is one that you might have seen before at the bank, on the sidewalk, at the mall. You never know, she could be sitting next to you, living that scene behind her own window.
This is the window in front of a person with a disordered mind – an eating disordered mind. The person behind that window is me, in a constant vortex of self torment, hate and destruction. Behind every scene there is a window, in front of every window there is a curtain. Would you open that curtain to see what it behind it, even if you knew what you were going to see.
This is the life of a bulimic. This is the life of an anorexic. This is the life of a girl that is so happy and blessed in so many ways but behaves in such a wicked way, but doesn’t understand why. This girl is me. I am that girl.
Although, many people have grown to know me as the “social butterfly” type and the “BMW girl”, I’m an onion waiting to be peeled. Stinkier as you peel away.
In an attempt at recovery and liberating myself from this wicked scene, I’ve written a book. I’ve labored over this book, and I’d like to share this book with you. I’m just not sure how, or who would read it. This book is about me. This book is about how people deal with me.
This book was written with my blood, sweat and puke.
This book is called: The noodle, the noose, and the nectar.
Inquire if you have interest. Console if you feel you can. Relate if you are, or know somebody dealing with an eating disorder.
This is the face of an eating disordered girl, trying to be happy. Living her happy life, hating her unhappy thoughts.