Dichotomy – The Difference Between Us

So, I have an alter ego, his name is Zips. Don’t get this confused, however, with a multiple personality. No no, we’re not going there, I already take enough medication I don’t need any more. Zips, in all of his chubby self, is what I want to be – brave, confident, assured, and dangerous. Me, I’m well, chubby, a coward, unsure and don’t really like anything that requires change. Today, randomly at work, Zips and I found this cardboard pyramid. Of course most people would just toss it and say “Rubbish”, nope, not me, not Zips. It was an opportunity for me to really stretch out and see where the differences are. What Zips would do in a pyramid scheme and what I would do.

(Don’t get me started on how wrong pyramid schemes are…)

On the bottom level you have to “buy into the investment”. Of course that’s where risk comes in, I’m out from the get go. Zips, however, in all of his dangerous self buys in. Then he slowly builds his pyramid, not ever looking up to see what’s at the top. He sees an endless opportunity of advancement and ability to make some serious cash. He sees yachts, trips to Brazil, and of course a nicer Beehive.

I on the other hand would look straight to the top of the pyramid and see what the outcome would possibly be instead of even trying it first. I look at my side of the pyramid scheme and immediately see “Go To Jail”. Nope, not me. All of the steps between here and there aren’t even looked at. It could even be a circumstance where I wouldn’t actually go to jail, maybe just pay some fines, but nonetheless, I’m not doing it. I’m not going to “Get rich quick”.

Zips on the other hand is a little more ambitious. A go getter he is, no doubt. So the devil on one shoulder is telling me to go, do, change, create, build, destroy, cultivate, and the angel on the other shoulder is telling me, just sit down and be still, you’ll be okay.

Damn it Zips, bad influence you are.

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Going To The Highest Bidder

Artistic expression. I’ve been channelling some of my negative energy through wood work and was thinking, gee, I bet somebody might really like this. So, I’m offering it to you, my fantastic fan base.

This has been made of 100$ renewed wood complete with sealant from different medicinal herbs. The carving is hand done, and chock full of feelings and love.

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Be Your Own Engineer For A Day

Outside The Box

Think outside the box, instead of having the world decide what your plans are going to be, draw them yourself. You’ll be surprised at what you find not only in your actions, but about what you see in yourself.

“Now is your chance, today is the day that you decide to think outside the box,” i said to myself in an unsure manner. Today feels different, there is a certain crispness in the air and the train whistles in the distance don’t seem quite as lonely today as they do on most days. Most of the time I hear the train, all I can think of is a lonely Engineer on his way to some crappy town to drop off some load of crap. His only friend the trees and cities whizzing by his Engine room window. Today, however, I think that train in the distance sounds like it’s excited to be going wherever the tracks lead it. 

The inspiration of the train whistle isn’t really the whole point of this diatribe, it’s actually the fact that I’m getting to become familiar with all things unfamiliar. I’ve stepped outside of my comfort zone and explored areas in my life which were otherwise too scary to face. Going back to school for example; what if I didn’t do perfect? Oh well, try harder, always try harder. I have found however, that the worse you do, the more attention you get, which for somebody like me is, ahem, not always the best.

I’m not going to lie, I like attention (most people already know that). I mean, why the hell else would I have a website devoted to my adventures (and Zips too)? I actually think people care about what’s going on in my life. I’ve realized, however, they don’t. I’m just like that train going down the tracks to some shitty town full of warehouses. I’m just one of thousands of trains across the world going somewhere for some reason. It doesn’t have to be lonely though, I only thought it was lonely, but in all honestly, it’s powerful. 

Once you realize that that lonely train on the tracks is really you, and that lonely Engineer is your ability to make choices, the empowerment you’ll get is pretty freaking incredible. So on this day, when you’re approaching whatever it is you’re doing, be it sitting on your butt watching The Price IS Right or going to work to be a slave to some big corporate entity, remember, you’re the one in control of your own train. Make the decision to be a train wreck or a reliable Engineer that delivers the goods that people want and need.

Do any of us really want to be train wrecks? 

Have you heard the buzz?

So, maybe I’m a little partial, but there’s nothing quite like getting to work in the morning and seeing a Bottle Brush Buckeye in full bloom covered with busy little bees. These little guys don’t seem to have a care in the world, they’re too busy with the task at hand, half the time they don’t even realize you’re there.


Although the Bottlebrush Buckeye isn’t exactly my favorite tree/shrub type plant, it does get me thinking. Where exactly am I going to “bee” in a few years? What do I want out of life, do I want to be a slave to a queen that I never see – aka – an eating disorder.


I’ve been doing well, a health scare last week and the whole falling asleep randomly was kind of a setback, especially on my first week of my new semester at school. I’ll keep on truckin’ though. I’m just like one of those little bees. Maybe there is a deeper meaning…bottlebrushbee bottlebrushbeesbeebannerDSCF5701